"Te amo" (I love you). The first time I said it to my
first boyfriend, it took me two weeks, after he had said it to me, to be able
to say it back! Why? Honestly, I wanted to mean it. I wanted the passion, truth
and everything it entailed was real to me.
Also, I wanted to make sure I knew what I was saying before saying it. I've had more than one relationship were
saying "I love you" has been wasted. After my first relationship, the
other three guys that came after, they said I love you first like they knew
what they were saying. I trusted them and my feelings grew to love. Was I sure I loved them back? Could I have
called that true love or real love? Right now, I know that for their part, it
was the hormones, dominance and immaturity talking. I know I meant it every time I said it. Was it
the same kind of love? No. Did I say it equally for each of them? No. What's
the difference? I
will dare say it….
“…I enjoy the night time because in so much darkness, it's hard to loose your way while the night sky shines with the moon and the stars. Some nights, the clouds cover the moon but the night breeze and coolness surrounds me making the night air soothing and comforting. The stars, depending on which one you follow, tell a story. U can never get bored with them. U can put a blanket down, rest underneath them and watch them all through the night while they twinkle. You wonder what story they can tell or if their silence alone is a story enough. The moon, depending on the season, has a different shape or is hidden as if it had a secret. As if its struggling to become whole because in that night it wants you to know that even though u can't see it, you have the stars that while listen and give u a shoulder to cry on while it returns because it doesn't stop thinking of you and all it wants is to stay by your side shining your night because it knows that it makes you smile. The next night, it appears and it brings a smile. U feel joyous when that happens and you know that you’re in its mind because it shines for you, even though you know it wants to do better. You expect that the next night, u will see the same but u don't. It's rounder and shaded as if it wasn't having a good day but it still shines because it will be there to keep u company and comfort if need be. It’s selfless no matter how dark it feels. As the nights roll by, you see that it’s round and glorious. It’s happy because it knows how much you care for it and you waited all day for nightfall to have the moon by your side. It shines brightly because it wants to be with you and u know it won’t leave your side unless it has to. You know its happiest when ur there and its sad when it has to part. When it’s at it’s brightest and with more stars than u could bear count, its screaming for your heart to hear how much it loves u, how much it wants to hear your voice, to feel your presence, how much it needs u, how much it wants to be with u, how much it wants to make u proud, give u what u deserve, make u happy and most importantly, be the other half that u yearn… I don’t feel alone but whole. I am no longer sad nor heartbroken. I feel brave and loved. I feel heard and cared for. I am comforted. Oh, moon! U are not perfect, you’re unreal to me. My pulse raises, my heart flutters with passion, desire and love at every full moon because I can see your true feelings and desires toward me. I couldn’t hold my breath any longer. Instead of a shiver down my spine, my whole body and warmed it. A calmness that sooth my soul and a disengagement from the world was the reality around me and without second thoughts, fears or worries I said with every last fiber of my being those three words I wanted to scream to the four winds:”te amo.”
“…I enjoy the night time because in so much darkness, it's hard to loose your way while the night sky shines with the moon and the stars. Some nights, the clouds cover the moon but the night breeze and coolness surrounds me making the night air soothing and comforting. The stars, depending on which one you follow, tell a story. U can never get bored with them. U can put a blanket down, rest underneath them and watch them all through the night while they twinkle. You wonder what story they can tell or if their silence alone is a story enough. The moon, depending on the season, has a different shape or is hidden as if it had a secret. As if its struggling to become whole because in that night it wants you to know that even though u can't see it, you have the stars that while listen and give u a shoulder to cry on while it returns because it doesn't stop thinking of you and all it wants is to stay by your side shining your night because it knows that it makes you smile. The next night, it appears and it brings a smile. U feel joyous when that happens and you know that you’re in its mind because it shines for you, even though you know it wants to do better. You expect that the next night, u will see the same but u don't. It's rounder and shaded as if it wasn't having a good day but it still shines because it will be there to keep u company and comfort if need be. It’s selfless no matter how dark it feels. As the nights roll by, you see that it’s round and glorious. It’s happy because it knows how much you care for it and you waited all day for nightfall to have the moon by your side. It shines brightly because it wants to be with you and u know it won’t leave your side unless it has to. You know its happiest when ur there and its sad when it has to part. When it’s at it’s brightest and with more stars than u could bear count, its screaming for your heart to hear how much it loves u, how much it wants to hear your voice, to feel your presence, how much it needs u, how much it wants to be with u, how much it wants to make u proud, give u what u deserve, make u happy and most importantly, be the other half that u yearn… I don’t feel alone but whole. I am no longer sad nor heartbroken. I feel brave and loved. I feel heard and cared for. I am comforted. Oh, moon! U are not perfect, you’re unreal to me. My pulse raises, my heart flutters with passion, desire and love at every full moon because I can see your true feelings and desires toward me. I couldn’t hold my breath any longer. Instead of a shiver down my spine, my whole body and warmed it. A calmness that sooth my soul and a disengagement from the world was the reality around me and without second thoughts, fears or worries I said with every last fiber of my being those three words I wanted to scream to the four winds:”te amo.”
I can speak with my heart in your hands. I trust you and believe
your words. I trust that time will allow all our dreams and goals to come true.
The best part of all is that I will have you to share it with. To keep my heart
warm and beating strong, healthy and full of life because that is what you
bring and give me. That is why I said “te amo” without a worry or care in the
word especially because the word was nonexistent. It was only you and me
together, the future to look forward to and I love you now, forever and always!
