Heartbreak

            There are days were I don't think I will survive the sadness. Were I wake up and is as if I was looking at myself from a mirror and when I focus, I half expect it to crack. I look into my eyes and their empty.  I know I want to cry but I just can't.  I ask myself the same questions.  I repeat them over, and over, and over, and over again.  I know I won't get a clear answer or any for that matter, and then I look down to make sure I am really awake.  It doesn't feel like I am although I know it's real because I can feel the pain.  I can feel the knife piercing, I can sense the anger, disappointment, the trials and tribulations that haunt me everyday.
             In the morning I wake and its there. As the day goes buy it subsides but once I hear the ticker, a flicker or remembrance approaches, it comes back to haunt me again.  Many memories plague me. Many whispers torture me and I can't seem to stand still. If I do, its like lightning struck my heart and I can't seem to keep it in one piece. I held my breath hoping I can heal the scar but all I get are my eyes to feel with tears that want to run down and I fight to keep them back. I don't want to feel helpless.  I don't want anyone to see my vulnerability. I'm tired of being told:"I am sorry".
             I try to run but I can't. I try to keep myself busy but the universe makes sure that I stay in time with reality.  I try to talk but who can compare with such turmoil.  I wouldn't wish this on anyone.  Such heartbreak is not meant for the weak nor the strong. It's not something that can be prepared for. It's not something that should endure but it does. It's a deep scream in the soul of a human being with purity and hope. Its a cry for help but there isn't enough arms to hold such fragility when heartbreak consumes the soul.  There is nothing to keep you whole.  Only the feel of loss and despair to keep you comfort til you can cope.